How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
