Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
