I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
as a side note pls kill me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
