Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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