no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
