Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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