Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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