Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
