I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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