Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
