You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
