perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
