We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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