Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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