but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I fill condoms, not promises.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
