and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
