a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
