absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
