I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
