plz talk dirty to me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
