Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
