My brain says no but my pants say off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize