last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
