i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
