roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
