I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
