God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
