i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't deserve a penis
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
