it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
