Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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