I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
