hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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