I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
