CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
