and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize