I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
