thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
farters have to be the big spoon...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
