she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
