I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
