how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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