I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
