After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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