worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
