Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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