dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
