I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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