I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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