Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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