Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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