absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
