So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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