i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
