New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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