did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
