I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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