I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize