He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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