Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
