Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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