If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
