Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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