he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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