Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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