wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize