Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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