worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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