he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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