That's intense
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
