i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
