Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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