3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
