It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
