just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
zippers are such a cool invention
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
