i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
