What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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