one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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