Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
