I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
