omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
