You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want to walk on stilts...naked
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize