So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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