Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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