I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
