Your dad touched me again.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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